The Beautiful Groan

Holland are awesome when they play as a team

Spain are potentially even more frightening

Both teams, however, are just as capable of being hopeless, and in a cup format, probably neither will win

Especially Spain, who for all their great attacking talent, were poor defensively

Austria, Switzerland and Greece are the worst top seeds in tournament history

Germany are an efficient, well oiled machine, and are deservedly favourites

England were hopeless under McLaren - Croatia look average, Russia awful

Slaven Bilic is a talented and entertaining coach, though

Zlatan Ibrahimovic is world class, so why is he rubbish so often?

Raymond Domenech is a hopeless tactician - two defensive midfielders against a ‘park the bus’ side?

Italy’s defence is pretty woeful without Cannavaro

Freddie Ljungberg is fit again. West Ham fans must be confused to see him run so much

No-one understands the offside rule anymore

If you’ve got an attacking set piece against Holland, be very afraid

Outside Group C, this tournament won’t get going until the knockout stages