I’m finding it increasingly difficult to take this transfer window seriously. Other than a couple of stories with potential, it seems that the media are either making up outlandish rumours, or rehashing the stupid ones they used a year ago. Here are ten Arsenal rumours that bear no relation to reality:
1. Eboue to Inter Milan. Starting with one that the media are blameless for, we have Eboue, having a terrible season but apparently coveted by Inter. Now, all Mourinho probably remembers Eboue for is breaking John Terry’s foot, and that alone isn’t likely to appeal. This seems to be a classic case of an agent making a player believe he is a lot better/more desired than he really is.
2. Yaya Toure from Barcelona. Brother already at the club – check. Plays in a position we’re short in – check. Perfect story! Except for the fact that if Wenger had ever wanted the younger Toure, he would already have him. He’s had plenty of chances to sign Yaya, including a trial a few years ago, and this story is just pure media laziness.
3. Charles N’Zogbia from Newcastle. “It’s my dream to play for Arsenal”. Big whoop, it’s mine too, but unfortunately, I’m a bit rubbish, and so are you, Charles.
4. Tevez from MSI. If United don’t intend to buy Tevez, some are saying he’ll leave in January. First off, why would he leave in January when his loan runs until the summer? And secondly, if United don’t want to pay 32 million for him, there’s no way we will.
5. Cesc and RVP to Barcelona for 45m. Another classic media syndrome – when journalists continue to out do each other until the lie is so fanciful it is reported as a ‘story’. Snore.
6. Diaby to Inter. Another apparent exit as part of the ‘crisis exodus’, Arsenal are apparently going to sell a man they are currently showing a lot of faith in. Okay then.
7. David Villa from Valencia. Yes, they’re in financial trouble, and yes, they probably will sell. But not until the summer.
8. Walcott anywhere. There are various rumours flying around that Walcott will walk at the end of the season for free, so will instead be sold early. This is frankly ridiculous.
9. Wenger to Real Madrid. What genius keeps thinking of this one? Wenger loves the stability and backing at Arsenal, and constantly says how managing Real would not be for him. So why the constant rumours?
10. Okay, so there are only nine.
I was sorely tempted to add Arshavin in as number ten, because I find myself having serious doubts as to whether we’re actually that interested. I wouldn’t be surprised if Spurs or Man City came in with 18m-20m and snapped him up, and I’m not even entirely sure Wenger would be that fussed.
But as for the rest, it strikes me that the press can’t even be bothered to make up new stories anymore. I’m slightly surprised we haven’t had more stories about Frey, Given, Buffon and Trezeguet.
February can’t come soon enough.