The summer is over, and the transfer merry go round is starting. Every day a few new players are linked, some sound plausible, others most definitely do not. Here are ten of those that will not be happening this year, complete with links to the original story.

1. Robinho. Consistently linked, you have to imagine that if Wenger really wanted to sign him for a considerable fee, he would have done so already. He has gone on record to say he admires the Brazilian, but the fees that are being suggested are simply out of the question.

2. Roque Santa Cruz .Adebayor scored thirty goals last season, Van Persie can score twenty five if fit. Walcott is beginning to shine, Bendtner is waiting in the wings and Vela will be used as a squad striker. Plus Eduardo is on the mend. Sure, not many of these are established, but you can’t become established until given the chance, much like Ade this season. Wenger will not sign a striker this summer.

3. Mauro Zarate. Nothing like a few good games to suddenly get the media salivating. Zarate, on loan from Qatar club Al Saad (where he’d been dropped), produced the odd moment of magic for Birmingham, but was inconsistent, and didn’t convince McLeish to regularly start him. Now, apparently, Arsenal are interested in paying over 10 million for him. I think not.

4. Yaya Toure. Kolo’s little brother can be as interested as he wants in joining him at Arsenal, but he has had trials here before, and Wenger had plenty of opportunities to sign him. He chose not to, and I see no reason why he would now.

5. David Villa. Another who is interested in coming, but Wenger isn’t interested in signing. He is an excellent striker, but we’re stocked in that department.

6. Sebastien Frey. Another summer, another link to Frey. Watch for the links to Buffon, I’m sure those equally unfounded stories will crop up in time.

7. Alberto Aquilani. Classic agent garbage – “Aquilani is speaking to Arsenal. We will have to see if Roma will be able to match his demands.” Watch him sign a new contract in the coming weeks, earning his agent a nice fat paycheck.

8. Lillian Thuram. Seriously, when was the last time Wenger signed a 36 year old?

9. Thierry Henry. Wenger sold him, he hasn’t looked that great since, is now more injury prone than ever and the wrong side of thirty. Plus Wenger never re-signs players he has previously sold. He’ll always be a legend, but he isn’t coming back.

10. David Dein. No matter what he plants in newspapers, no matter what he says or does now, he isn’t returning, at least while the current board are in charge. Edelman may have gone, but he was far from Dein’s only enemy, and the orange one’s actions over the past year make this utterly impossible.

Yes, I know it’s normally Groan’s 10. But there weren’t as many things that wound me up this week, okay?

1. Chelsea are in the final

It is a truly sickening sentence. They scratched around in a group containing the superpowers of Schalke and Rosenborg. They were poor against Valencia, who are 15th in La Liga. They made Olympiakos look half decent before losing to Fenerbahce. They deserved to lose the first leg of the semi final and didn’t deserve to win the second. And yet, despite all that, they’re in the bloody final.

2. Essien’s card waving

Last week it was Deco, this week Essien. After Carvalho had executed a perfect sliding tackle which took ball and then man, Essien ran full pelt over to the referee, brandishing an imaginary card and telling him to book Torres (I believe) for a non existent dive. The ref ignored him. Then Arbeloa came over to tell the ref to book Essien for telling him to book Torres, and received a yellow for his complaints. You’ve got the love the consistency.

3. Barcelona were rubbish

The United-Barca semi final was supposed to be a classic. But United didn’t play very well, and once they’d scored they realised that despite all the supposed attacking talent of their opposition, they were pretty toothless, Messi apart. So they double teamed Messi and killed the game. Nothing wrong with that, it was a good tactic. But Barcelona were simply awful at actually creating chances – they were like a worse version of the frustrating Arsenal play of last season – all the possession and no cutting edge.

4. Didier Drogba

He was in last week’s list, and he’s back for more. Benitez mentioned before the game that Drogba dives, which he does. But a note to Didier – you can’t score, run over to the Liverpool bench, pointedly do a celebratory dive in front of the opposing manager, and then accuse himof a lack of class after the game. Besides, Benitez was right to say what he said, he just got the timing all wrong. Wait until after the game to fire up your opposition’s top striker, you muppet.

5. It’s now all about United and Chelsea

If you arrived into the season at this point, you’d never know that anyone other that Chelsea or United ever had a chance of winning honours. It seems cruel that Arsenal contributed so much to this season and now have to watch as those two slug it out for the league and Champions League. Football is a game of such fine lines.

Silver lining – although it means supporting United for the next three games, we are left with the amusing possibility that Chelsea might win nothing, and come second in three trophies this season. That would actually be hilarious.

1. They were mind-numbingly dull.

We all knew Liverpool-Chelsea wasn’t going to be a classic, but even that snorefest produced more chances and goals than the complete non-event that was Barcelona-United. There was Ronaldo’s early penalty miss, and then there was…er…nothing. Yawn. I thought these were supposed to be two of Europe’s premier attacking teams?

2. None of the teams even looked that impressive

Liverpool never looked like scoring against Chelsea unless they made a horrible mistake (which they did), Chelsea never looked like scoring against Liverpool unless they made a horrible mistake (which they did), Barcelona never looked like scoring against United unless they made a horrible mistake (which they didn’t), and United never looked…..you get the picture.

3. Benitez’s reaction to the ref

“I was very disappointed with the officials. And it’s not the first time, it’s really disappointing.”

Said without a touch of irony, despite Liverpool’s last four Champions League games featuring a ludicrous red card for Materazzi, another harsh red card in the second leg, a penalty on Hleb that should’ve been given, and a penalty for Babel that shouldn’t.

And he’s moaning about the standard of refereeing in their matches? He knows that very standard may be the only reason they’re still in it, right?

4. Didier Drogba

I’d forgotten how utterly infuriating Drogba could be when he has one of his play acting days. Diving, throwing himself around at every opportunity, feigning injury, sulking, the works. Didier, you’re 6 ft 4, built, and you’re actually a good player when you set your mind to it. Grow up.

5. Cristiano Ronaldo

Almost the same, although he at least doesn’t sulk and stay out of the game as a result. He sulks and then gets back on with it. But he still seems to think the world is against him every time he doesn’t get the latest soft free kick he’s after, appealing to the ref as he’s going down (he does have an uncanny ability to tumble while looking straight at the official). He should’ve had a second penalty though.

6. The ITV commentary team’s blatant bias

We all know how one sided they can be when an English club is playing against continental opposition, but their pro-Liverpool commentary on Tuesday night was painful to listen to at times. Every time Drogba went down easily, they adamantly cried ‘he dived’, every time Torres or Gerrard did the same, they reluctantly conceded ‘there perhaps wasn’t that much in that’. The excitement was there to hear when Liverpool scored, the disappointment even more so when Chelsea equalised. Standards, people.

7. Deco and his imaginary card waving

Come on folks, I thought we’d cut this behaviour out long ago, as we don’t seem to see it so much these days. But it is still a mandatory yellow card, so why the ref only denied Deco’s requests rather than booking the little weasel, I’ll never know.

In fact, I don’t see any reason this shouldn’t become a red card offence, as it clear gross unsportsmanship. It isn’t like a dive, where the referee can get it wrong, there is simply no mistaking the act of waving the imaginary card, so no risk in increasing the punishment. Why not make it a sending off offence? Maybe they’d stop doing it.

8. Chelsea’s luck

They played appallingly for 94 minutes, and then with seconds left Riise decided to head a ball a few inches from the ground instead of hoofing it away with his foot, gifting them an away goal they never deserved. The thought of them winning the Champions League makes me want to be sick.

9. Samuel Eto’o

Was there a more disinterested player on the pitch last night? Strange to think so many want him to go to Arsenal, his laziness is surely not helping his popularity over in Barca.

10. Ferguson’s gum chewing

The Spanish coverage like their little montages, showing images of key players in turn, their emotions, and then cutting to the touchline to do the same with the managers. All very dramatic, until you see Ferguson and his masticated Wrigley’s, his red face chomping furiously on what must be at least two whole packets at once. Is there a more disgusting sight in football, now that Sam Allardyce is out of a job?

There’s altogether too much doom and gloom going around at the moment, too much criticism of Wenger’s transfer policy by the very same people that praised him for it when the season was looking rosier. At a time like this, it can be difficult to get past the dissenting voices and retain a bit of optimism. Here are ten reasons to win that particular battle.

1. We are better than Liverpool

That might seem like a strange thing to say after not beating them in four matches this season, but it isn’t sour grapes to say that was purely down to extraordinarily bad luck. We dominated the league game at Anfield before Christmas, hitting the post twice, dominated the Champions League first leg, being denied by a referee and a less than balletic teammate, before two much closer matches. The league doesn’t lie – two years ago Liverpool were better than us (briefly), but not any more.

2. Luck has to change

I was going to write a piece on how since the Birmingham game, we’ve had goals wrongly ruled out, goals against us wrongly allowed, dodgy penalty calls at both ends, and a stream of bad luck, but Goodplaya’s beaten me to it, and put it better than I could, so I suggest you have a read.

They say luck evens out in the end, so next season should be a cracker.

3. Theo Walcott’s a bit good

Witness the terrified Liverpool players the moment he came on the pitch. See the directness of his running, as if he’s cottoned on to his greatest asset. See the determination in his fight for a first team place. And he’s only just 19. Anyone think the criticism of him this season was premature?

4. We’re coming higher in the league and we’ve gone further in the Champions League than last year

Last season we came a distant fourth, 21 points off the pace, and got deservedly knocked out in an appalling display against PSV in the last 16. This season, we’re fifteen points closer to United, got a round further in Europe, and at least put up a decent fight against Liverpool.

5. We’ve proved the media wrong

They said Wenger was wrong to sell Henry, as no-one could step in and score 20 goals, let alone the 25 Adebayor has. They said Cesc couldn’t score. They said we’d drop out of the top four. They were wrong, oh so very very wrong.

6. Cesc Fabregas is still only 20

Hard to believe, isn’t it, that our midfield talisman is younger than Nani, Babel, and so many more of the ‘up and coming’ players at other clubs. Even better than that, he’s a true Gooner, who dislikes United, Ferguson, Hughes, Savage and Chelsea. The man has good taste – how long before he’s captain?

7. Wenger has money to spend

That doesn’t mean he’ll spend it, of course, more that he isn’t restricted by it. He’ll bide his time, go for the targets he wants, but he isn’t financially constrained any more. If he thinks 10-15m is a bargain for a player, he can pay it.

8. We have the happiest hierarchy in the top four

Chelsea have trigger happy Abramovich, a manager who the fans can’t stand, and Peter Kenyon playing the role of the weasel. United have the ever-popular Glazers, who are currently surviving financially thanks to their on field success but are relying on that a little too heavily, while Liverpool’s board room battles are the stuff of playground legend. Meanwhile, Wenger has the time and space to work his long term magic by his English, and Arsenal attached, board, who are resisting the foreign invasion with everything they have. The heritage of this club is secure.

9. Robin Van Persie will play some football next season

Oh yes he will. Don’t forget what a talent the man is. Clichy had to bide his time to prove it. Van Persie will too.

10. Tottenham and the top four

August is a month of brave and stupid predictions, and last summer’s common theme was Spurs finishing ahead of us and reaching the top four. If that isn’t something to chuckle at, I don’t know what is.

Keep smiling, Gooners.