A clash between Spain and Holland was a mouth watering prospect – not only are they usually two of the most aesthetically pleasing teams (along with the current crop of Germans), but there was an added mystique lent by the extraordinary statistic that they had never met in the World Cup or European Championships before. But the Dutch decided to ruin the game by employing strongarm Stoke-esque tactics, and were lucky not to be men down much earlier than extra time – Van Bommel and de Jong getting away with two of the worst challenges of the tournament.

At half time, Alan Hansen laid into the Dutch tactics, calling them ‘a step too far’, eerily reminiscent of the same words used by both Cesc and Wenger after Ryan Shawcross had destroyed Aaron Ramsey’s leg. But on that day, Hansen lambasted Wenger, essentially telling Arsenal to grow up and legitimising the tactic due to it being the ‘only way to cope with Arsenal’s superior technique’.

Well, if that statement doesn’t sum up everything that is wrong the British attitude to football, I don’t know what does. Last night was no different to what we’ve seen for years – teams that know they cannot outpass their opposition so resort to thuggery. It is not a valid tactic in any way, it should not be praised and lauded as such, yet Hansen, Lawrenson and co do exactly that week in, week out. To then do a complete 180 and lay into the Dutch was hypocrisy at its rawest. Those following me on Twitter will have seen me spitting fire on the subject at the time.

Don’t get me wrong – the criticism Holland received was entirely justified. Sure, Spain were no angels, but they were the victims of some frankly shocking challenges, the type of which should grace no game. That Van Bommel was guilty of one came as a surprise to no-one.

But once the first day of the Premiership arrives, the viewpoint will revert. As soon as a Wigan, Stoke, Bolton or Blackburn player scythes into a technically superior opponent, he will be praised for ‘letting his opponent know he is there’ and ‘getting stuck in’. And if those are the traits we value above all, is it any surprise England crashed out so early, struggling even to control the football at times?

Imagine being Wenger today – he will be well aware of Hansen’s contrasting views of Holland and Stoke, and if I were in his shoes, I’d be raising that very point early in the season. But Wenger has more class than that, and understands that such a reaction will give the pundits the satisfaction of getting under his skin. He will instead listen patiently as they slate the lack of an end product to all the Arsenal passes, compare the number of goals Arsenal and Spain score, and shrug with an ironic smile.

Spain did not win the World Cup because of their stellar attacking, no matter what the press are telling you. They scored eight goals in seven games, looking toothless much of the time. No, they won it because they did not concede in the knockout rounds. The difference between Spain and Arsenal is not end product, it is that Spain do not give the opposition an idiotic headstart.

But don’t expect to hear those kind of sensibilities on the BBC anytime soon.

I had high hopes for the coverage of the final – having ditched some of the less useful pundits (as soon as African interest ended, so did Adebayor’s television time), the BBC could have given the tournament a great send off. But each of the panel quickly made their desire for Spain to win abundantly clear, which made for a painful listen, especially given their remit of neutrality.

By the end, I couldn’t stomach any more of Hansen celebrating the ‘victory for football’, or using Wenger’s own ‘anti-football’ phrase to describe the Dutch, so I switched off, although not before witnessing the farcical trophy presentation, where the entire Spanish squad was crammed into a tiny holding area. Ridiculous.

All in all, it has been a disappointing summer. I love the World Cup, I really do, but this one hasn’t sparked me in any way. There were few thrillers, no minnows going the distance, no stunning comebacks. Even the best goals were largely down to goalkeeping errors.

But on a positive note, the end of the tournament signals the beginning of the build up to another season. Due to players being away from their clubs, the transfer window has essentially been compressed, and the next few weeks should be very interesting. Hold on to your hats.

It was dramatic, it was exciting and frankly, it was deserved – Mexico were excellent, France poor. Given how much we love to see the big nations brought down a peg, it should have been highly enjoyable.

But it wasn’t, thanks to the commentators and the reactive media (particularly a few sanctimonious ones on Twitter) taking the opportunity to mention that handball in that playoff match every minute of the game, as if France’s loss was more of a victory for Ireland than it was for Mexico.

I don’t pretend to know the entire Irish population. But while those I do were pretty irritated by Henry’s handball at the time, they soon got over it. They certainly put it behind them quicker than the English media, led by a few individuals calling for Henry to be banned for the tournament, France to be thrown out, and other ludicrous and overblown suggestions.

Tonight was a huge win for Mexico. A draw would have left them needing to beat a flying Uruguay, but instead they proved the talent they have in the squad and are on the brink of qualification for the knockout stages. They should have been the stars, yet inexplicably, too many chose to focus on the ‘karma’ of the situation and how delighted Ireland would be, despite a) as far as I can see, the Irish don’t care anymore and b) Henry didn’t even feature in the game.

Don’t get me wrong, I felt for Ireland at the time, and if some still harbour ill feeling towards Henry, and France in general, then maybe they will have enjoyed tonight a little more than most. But the impression I get is that the majority hold no such grudge, so this continued campaign of vitriol is not representative of their feelings in any way.

The more the written press continue this faux holier than thou attitude on behalf of a nation that do not desire or require their ’support’, the more they irritate me. And I’m sure I’m not alone.

For the record, I have a sneaky suspicion France will still go through. Mexico will fancy their chances of beating Uruguay to top the group, therefore avoiding Argentina in the second round, and that would open the door to France, provided they can hammer a demoralised South Africa. Don’t write them off just yet.

As for the Arsenal representatives, no-one covered themselves in glory. The entire French team was unimpressive, while at the other end Vela missed a great chance before going off with a hamstring injury. In earlier matches, Cesc inexplicably remained on the bench while his teammates lost to Switzerland, and Eboue was part of an Ivory Coast defence untroubled by Portugal.

On the plus side, the entertainment level of the tournament has picked up after a slow and cagey start – Argentina demolished South Korea today, and teams are certainly playing with a freedom missing in the early days.

Betting Update

After a bad day yesterday – three out of three bets failed to come in – Argentina’s big win over South Korea and Greece’s victory over Nigeria boosted the profits once more. Part of me wishes I was staking more than a pound on each bet…

I will continue to place a bet on each match in the tournament, adding some random ones here and there, so keep checking the tracker to the right to see how it is going.

Other Arsenal news

The fixture list is out for the 2010/11 season and we start with a belter – a trip to Anfield to face a Liverpool side hoping to feel the effect of a new manager. Our next crunch game is also away - Chelsea on October 2.

November, often a bad month, will again be tricky – Everton (away), Villa (away) and Spurs (home) provide plenty of challenges, especially surrounded by Champions League fixtures. We complete the trio of away games against the Big Four before Christmas.

If we are in contention at Christmas, having played Liverpool, United, Chelsea, Everton, City and Villa away, we are in with a real shout.

But that is for another time – I have to be honest and say that I struggle to get excited about the season when it is so far away. When the players start training again, and we play our first pre-season match, everything will change.

Before then, we have the rest of the World Cup. And I love it, at least when the TV is muted.

At the other end, Bendtner was decent for Denmark, one glorious turn in midfield bamboozling two opponents, but he shanked his only real chance wide. Despite impressing, Adrian Chiles mocked him relentlessly at half time, presumably based on some preconceived bias – his showing certainly didn’t warrant that level of criticism.

Bendtner (and Denmark) were made to feel better by the game that followed between the two other teams in the group, Japan and Cameroon. The Africans looked lethargic throughout, stuck Eto’o on the right and left Alex Song on the bench, a pair of bizarre decisions that Le Guen stuck by all game. Japan were well organised, played for a draw and got a bonus when they pinched a goal. On that display, Denmark have every chance to come back and qualify.

It hasn’t been the best World Cup for Arsenal players yet, but then it hasn’t been a great World Cup for anyone up to now. Too many teams are living by the mantra that an early loss is a disaster, and the resultant negativity is producing a dearth of goals. Only Germany have sparkled, but even they were up against a hapless Australian side and aided by a referee who showed a red card to Cahill for absolutely nothing.

Tomorrow holds more promise – ignoring the early New Zealand-Slovakia game (placed at lunchtime for a reason), there is further Arsenal interest as the Ivory Coast kick off their campaign with a tasty looking game against Portugal in the afternoon. And then we get our first glimpse of Brazil in the evening, before Cesc’s long wait for a runout ends against Switzerland on Wednesday.

The World Cup can only get better, and it will.

Betting Update

After the double success of the opening day, Argentina’s narrow win and England’s draw with the USA provided a pair of winners, making day two another success despite Greece’s failure to live up to my expectations.

Day three was the first hiccup – Algeria, Serbia and Australia all comprehensively failing to achieve the results I tipped, but after correctly predicting Holland’s two goal victory, combined with Japan’s defeat of Cameroon, form was today restored. Had Italy snuck a late winner, it would have been a ridiculously successful day.

All in all, it is going well so far, with eleven £1 bets returning a healthy £24 – £13 profit. I will continue to make a tip for every match shortly before kickoff on Twitter, so you can either keep a track there or watch the panel to the right. If you fancy joining in, feel free to add your own tips to the comments, or on Twitter using the hashtag #groanswcbets – I’ll take on any good ones.

And that is that. See you tomorrow to watch Eboue make Ronaldo cry. Again.

It was also a day featuring many of Arsenal’s representatives. Carlos Vela nearly scored the tournament’s first goal, only to be (correctly) denied by an attentive assistant referee, but he otherwise disappointed in a Mexico side that could find themselves struggling to qualify after failing to punish South Africa’s tentative first half.

The French trio of Sagna, Gallas and Diaby will be disappointed with their opening result, especially as Uruguay went down to ten men late in the game, but on an individual level they should be happier. Gallas was solid at the back, Sagna was more of a wing back threat than Evra (and will be grateful not to have been injured by Lodeiro’s X-rated challenge), but the real star was Abou Diaby, who was a constant threat in an advanced midfield role, and was the sole player who appeared capable of terrorising Uruguay’s somewhat suspect defence.

Diaby has always been a divisive player, but his performance tonight was reminiscent of the run of form he enjoyed early in 2010, before he tailed off again towards the end of the season. Running with the ball, he is a mesmerising sight, and could enjoy a prosperous World Cup if those surrounding him showed more intent. France looked rudderless and impotent up front, and provide so little goal threat that their stay in the competition may be shortlived.

The next time we see an Arsenal player in action will be Monday, when Van Persie, Bendtner and Song kick off their campaigns, but there are plenty of matches to get your teeth into over the weekend, so enjoy. They can’t be any worse than tonight’s snoozefest.

Betting update

A great start for the betting tips, tracked to your right - having tipped 1-1 for the opening match, I predicted a card-fest in the second game, and both bets came off. I’m not getting too smug though – it may all go horribly wrong tomorrow.

As ever, you can follow the bets as they are placed on Twitter, or just keep an eye on the tracker to the right. No doubt some red lines will be appearing soon.

And that is it for today. I will be missing much of Saturday’s football due to a wedding, but they have kindly incorporated the England game into proceedings. Good thing too – we were planning on watching it either way. See you on the other side.

• Bet on African and Asian nations to do well. They are always underestimated.
• There is more to South America than Brazil and Argentina.
• Never ever ever ever ever ever ever bet on England to do well.

That these rules stand you in good stead is no fault of the bookies – it is supply and demand. Pick anyone in the street and ask them who will have a good World Cup, and you’ll never hear an answer outside the top European nations, Brazil and Argentina. I’m not saying an African side will lift the trophy, but sometimes you can get extremely generous odds on them just escaping the group stage.

The more observant among you may have noticed the betting tracker on the right hand side of the screen, which will list each of the bets throughout the course of the competition, with recent wins and losses displayed alongside all remaining open bets. There is also a Twitter hashtag against which they will be listed - #groanswcbets – you can search for them using this link. If you are a Twitter user, feel free to add your comments or suggested bets – if you add the hashtag to the tweet it will appear in the search. If Twitter is not your thing, you can always comment on this post instead.

So, without further ado, here are the first ten tips (and yes, I am staking my own money on these). All the bets are placed with Sportingbet, as they do excellent odds and a very wide range of bets.

1. Holland the win the World Cup – 9/1

Might as well start with the big one. The Dutch are a mercurial nation – talented, yet like Spain prior to 2008, they inexplicably fail in major tournaments. But they seem more united than usual this year, and have the talent to go all the way. A look at their squad makes it mystifying that no-one is tipping them to lift the trophy, as they are unlikely to face a major challenge until the quarter finals – an easy group should be followed by whichever of New Zealand, Paraguay and Slovakia accompanies Italy into the knockout stages. Their only potential problem is one familiar to English fans – the prospect of penalties (they are the only nation with a worse record).

2. Luis Fabiano to be top scorer – 11/1

The Brazilian striker is a bit special – 25 goals in 38 international appearances, 90 in 152 for Sevilla. Top scorer in the Confederations Cup last year, he is proven at all levels, and with Brazil playing North Korea intheir opening match, he has a great chance to get off to a flyer. The bookies may favour either of the Spanish pairing, or Lionel Messi (who has a poor record for his country), but Fabiano is my pick.

3. South Africa to qualify from their group – 7/4

Host nations never go out in the group stage. In 2002, the world was convinced that the statistic would change, but both Japan and South Korea confounded their critics, and South Africa are likely to do the same. France are exceptionally wobbly, Mexico hit and miss and Uruguay poor outside South America. The odds on the host nation progressing are exceptionally generous.

4. North Korea to score at least twice in the tournament – 11/8

Yes, they are in a tough group, and yes, they are the lowest ranked team in the tournament, but an impressive qualifying campaign suggests that North Korea are better than the whipping boy status they have been given. Scoring twice in three games is a perfectly reasonable ask, especially given that Brazil and the Ivory Coast are not known for keeping clean sheets.

5. France to go out in the group stage – 15/8

Blessed with a terrific set of players, the French squad is nonetheless an uneasy place. A loss to China last week, questions over team selection (although reports of infighting are exaggerated), and the second barmiest manager at the tournament (behind Maradona) is not a recipe for success. The bookies tip them to qualify with Mexico, but as I said earlier, the hosts cannot be discounted, and Uruguay famously denied them eight years ago. France could be the big casualty of the group stage.

6. Chile to get 4-5 points – 11/5

Group H should be hard fought. Spain are the clear favourites, while Honduras look set for disappointment, but Switzerland and Chile will be fighting for qualification. Assuming Chile beat Honduras, a couple of tight draws would leave them on five points, and even a loss to Spain drops them to four. Either is very possible, and as a result these odds seem very generous.

7. Serbia to win Group D – 11/4

Germany’s presence in the group automatically puts them as favourites to progress in top spot, but Serbia were also underdogs in their qualifying campaign, where they forced France into that playoff with a string of impressive performances. Now ranked 15th in the world, they are a close-knit squad that are undoubtedly my dark horses.

8. South Africa v Mexico to finish 1-1 – 5/1

Moving on to the individual matches, and I’m tipping a stalemate in the opening game, but not a goalless one. Both sides carry a threat going forward, but are vulnerable at the back, and if the score is level going into the last ten minutes, both may settle for not losing their first match.

9. France v Uruguay to be heavy on the cards – 8/5

These two have history. Eight years ago Henry was sent off when the teams met in a crucial match that eventually helped eliminate France, then holders. These days, Uruguay rely on Forlan and Suarez up front, but behind them is a bruising team full of players sure to catch the eye of the referee, while France themselves are known to get riled a little easily. The referee for the match is Japan’s Yuichi Nishimura, who can be card-happy, and so the odds on more than sixty points (ten for a yellow, twenty five for a second yellow or a straight red) looks a great prospect.

10. England and USA to draw – 14/5

Four times in the last twenty years, England have drawn their opening match of a major tournament, and with USA favourites to join them in the knockout stages, a repeat would not be the disgrace the media would likely label it. With Algeria and Slovenia to come, a point for each side would be a reasonable start, and as ever, betting against England carries fantastic odds.

And there you have it. There will be plenty more bets to come as the tournament progresses, but these ten all strike me as potential winners. You can keep up to date with the successes and failures of these tips and those that follow by watching the tracker to the right. Enjoy!

One day to go. I’m excited. Are you?

But with the announcement of the final England squad yesterday, there was at last some news regarding someone else in the squad. Unfortunately, that news was a hammer blow to Theo Walcott, whose apparently nailed on position in the squad was ripped from under his feet by Fabio Capello.

In fairness to the England manager, Walcott has been inconsistent at best since that memorable hattrick in Croatia. There have been glimpses of his outrageous ability, but they have been fleeting. Too often he is sent on as an impact substitute, only to make no apparent difference. In the end, his one-dimensional play has cost him his place.

While his omission can be explained in those terms, it is still surprising for two reasons. The first is that Walcott is a big game player. Look at the matches he is remembered for – his first goal for the club in the Carling Cup final, his run against Liverpool in the Champions League, the Croatia hattrick, and his display against Barcelona a couple of months back – there is a pattern. While he disappoints in the ‘regular’ games, he has sparked to life against the top opposition, precisely the sort he would have been asked to face this summer.

But more than that, his absence is a surprise when you look at the man replacing him – Shaun Wright-Phillips. If Walcott has missed out due to inconsistency, why is the City man there? Even though I had an inkling that Walcott was in danger (due to him playing both friendlies and not doing much in either), I figured that if he was dropped, Adam Johnson was his obvious replacement. After all, the youngster has been comprehensively outperforming Wright-Phillips since joining the same club.

Walcott’s reaction was mature, but now he needs to get angry. He needs to take this as a personal rebuke and use it to spark a determination never to have another unhappy World Cup experience. Not many can say they have suffered from World Cup selection drama twice by the time they are 21. He needs to improve, and he now has a few months to refocus and start again. As Goonerholic points out, his preparations for last season were hampered by playing both senior and Under-21 internationals in the summer – there are no such problems this time around.

So now eleven remain – we still have a decent representation at the World Cup, although if you take the departing Gallas and Senderos out of the equation we have nine travelling to South Africa.

Speaking of the World Cup, the lovely people at Sportingbet are putting together a terrific promotion for all those who fancy their chances of predicting results at the event. All you have to do is pick which team will win each of the 48 group stage matches (team 1, team 2, draw) and also who will lift the trophy. If you get 45 or more correct (and the tournament winner), you will win a share of £1,000,000. Even if your prediction skills are as ropey as mine, you start winning prizes as soon as you get 25 games correct. You don’t even need to predict the scores – just the match winners.

Here is the full prize list (all prizes shared between those qualifying for that particular band):

45+ games correct and outright winner: £1,000,000 cash
40-48 games correct: £40,000 in free bets
35-39 games correct: £35,000 in free bets
30-34 games correct: £30,000 in free bets
25-29 games correct: £25,000 in free bets

Not too shabby. To play, you need to place a qualifying bet (£10 on any sport between now and June 11), and you’ll get a play code. Further bets will earn you more codes.

As an extra bonus, if you are a new user, click here or on the banner in the top right, and you’ll get a £25 sign-up bonus after registering. If you already have an account, you can get straight to the prediction action by clicking here.

Enjoy. And buy me a pint if you win, m’kay?

Also, there won’t be a podcast this week – after all, there has been no football, no interesting transfer stories (I don’t count Chamakh flying into the country, or Barcelona players opening their mouths about Cesc), and the sight of Ashley Cole and John Terry celebrating on Saturday has forced me to ignore the game entirely this week. The podcast will, of course, return next Wednesday (May 25).

The dearth of genuine news has led the press to create their own, with the Mail on Sunday stitching up Lord Triesman by sending his former mistress to record a dinner conversation in which he (probably drunkenly) suggested Russia might help Spain this summer by bribing World Cup officials, in return for the Spaniards withdrawing their 2018 bid. No doubt Triesman was an idiot to voice that opinion, but am I alone in pining for the days when the media reported the news instead of creating it in such a manipulative way?

Back to Arsenal, and it seems we may benefit from a World Cup summer for once, with many of our number resting their tired legs as their countries either failed to qualify, or overlooked them. None of our keepers are going (quelle surprise), and neither are any of the centre backs likely to stay beyond the next few weeks (Vermaelen, Djourou, Gallas).

Elsewhere, Rosicky, Nasri, Arshavin and Denilson make up an impressive quartet of midfielders taking a breather, while Eduardo will also be staying at home. And that is before you count the various travellers who are unlikely to feature (here’s looking at you, Diaby).

We probably have more first teamers without a World Cup on the horizon that any of our rivals, which is certainly a boost going into next season, as long as those missing out are suitably refreshed instead of reflecting on a summer away from the limelight. We shall see.

I’d like to bring you more news tonight, but I can’t. There isn’t any. Stay tuned for the season review, but until then, don’t panic that Cesc is leaving, don’t believe the Spanish papers, don’t believe the English papers, and don’t put your contact lenses in after putting aftershave on. A lesson painfully learned.

But in truth, this is an opportunity. November is over, the first team have had a rest, with the exception of Alex Song, whose midweek booking ensures he gets his before the trip to Anfield next weekend, and Stoke actually aren’t all that good. This isn’t Chelsea, who combined strength with skill, or City, who overran our kids with pace and experience. This is Stoke, who rely on throw ins. Yes, throw ins.

The back five is fairly set in stone – Traore will continue his run of games at left back while Sagna should be fit to start on the opposite side. Denilson will play the holding role, alongside Cesc and perhaps Ramsey, while Eduardo, rested in midweek, has another chance to find form up front, probably alongside Nasri and Arshavin.

On paper, despite the injuries, it is a very strong lineup, the sort that Stoke should not be able to cope with. Does it matter how brutish their defenders are when we pass around them?

I’m going for a 3-1 win, with Eduardo finding his feet with a much-needed goal. I have a suspicion that Cesc might take it on himself to be the catalyst though – it is when you are down that you need your captain the most, and he is more than capable of taking on that responsibility.

Elsewhere, the fallout from the Hughes handshake continues, with Wenger biding his time, waiting for the City manager to bitch and whine, before coming back with a neatly worded slap in the face:

“Tomorrow, by coincidence, I am managing my 500th game at Arsenal, and I believe I have shaken hands maybe 497 times. It is a ceremonial courtesy. But the most important is not the ceremonial but the courtesy of behaviour.”

“I don’t deny that I am a bad loser but on this occasion I would have done exactly the same if we had won the game or lost the game. I am in accordance with the principles I think are important on the football pitch and I maintain exactly what I said and did.”

“I am used to treating this kind of thing with the needed distance and I do not want to make a fuss. There are incidents on the touchline but you have never heard me ever say anything about another manager after the game, in a press conference or during the week after. I maintain exactly the way I behave and do not regret one second of what I did.”

In other words, Hughes acted like an oaf, and did not deserve the public display of friendship that would have been faker than Charlize Theron’s American accent.

Speaking of which, the World Cup draw was made earlier today, and while I can’t stand international breaks, I unashamedly love the World Cup, and am now officially excited. USA, Algeria and Slovenia representa near-perfect draw for Capello, but the occasion wasn’t as happy for some other nations. Here are my thoughts:

• Our first two games are on a Saturday night followed by a Friday night. Pub owners everywhere must be rejoicing. If we get through, our second round match will also be at the weekend, along with the quarters. Happy days.
• I hope the bride at the wedding I’m going to on June 12 appreciates that not many will be paying full attention while we play USA in the evening.
• The Ivory Coast have it rough. Their debut in the World Cup was in 2006, and they crashed out of a brutal group containing Argentina, Holland and Serbia. This time, they’ve got Brazil and Portugal. Ouch.
• Speaking of Brazil and Portugal, they meet on the final day of group matches, at 3pm on a Friday afternoon. I fully expect offices everywhere to empty early that day.
• I have a sneaky suspicion Chile will top Spain’s group. Seriously, Chile are very decent.

Six months to go until we all get to be glued to the TV, all day every day. Well, those of us who don’t have tickets anyway.

But until then, there are some hugely important club matches, starting tomorrow. And I’m sticking my neck out and predicting the start of a revival. Mark my words.

Enjoy the game.

First we had the curse of the international break rear its ugly head again, in the form of injuries to Van Persie and Gibbs. The timing of the former is painful because he was on such a hot streak, and with important games coming up it helps to have the players likely to strike fear into the opponents. For the latter, it is also a blow, but for different reasons – with Clichy out, Gibbs had a great chance to stake his claim for a regular first team spot. Ask Fabianski how a mistimed injury can drop you down the pecking order.

But in both cases, panic spread like wildfire, only for subsequent reports to confirm that the injuries were not as bad as initially feared. Which, frankly, made some of the outlandish statements made in the interim seem all the more foolhardy. As soon as the Dutchman collapsed on the turf, our season was being written off, a bizarre conclusion given how many goalscorers we have. As it turns out, Gibbs might be fit in just over a week, with Van Persie returning just after Christmas. It isn’t ideal, but it isn’t a crisis either.

If you were to make me select positions to lose players to injury, I’d plump for strikers and left backs, as we have the cover. Just wrap Gallas and Vermaelen up in cotton wool and we’ll be fine.

And then we have the internationals. Fans and the media do like to get overboard from time to time, don’t they? We had Eduardo, and now we have ‘Handball-Gate’, the inevitable title of last night’s incident. For those who don’t know, you must be living under a rock, but essentially Henry instinctively (perhaps) handled the ball, crossed for Gallas, who scored to put France into the World Cup.

And that’s about it. Was it a clear handball? Yes. Was it deliberate? That depends largely on whether you consider instinct to be the same thing. Should the goal have stood? Absolutely not.

But it was one of a million incidents that referees and linesmen miss. Yes, somehow, this has got the footballing public into such a flurry that we have fans calling in to Sky to get the match replayed, and beyond that, Kevin Kilbane and Liam Brady are demanding the match to be null and void.

Some go even further – one caller on Sky Sports was comparing Henry’s actions with the business world, where fraud can land you in jail. Has the world gone mad? Even the Irish Justice Minister waded in:

“They probably won’t grant it as we are minnows in world football but let’s put them on the spot. Otherwise, if that result remains, it reinforces the view that if you cheat, you will win.”

Kilbane said:

“Well, I’d like to think it would be replayed and I think everyone in the squad would like it replayed.”

What possible grounds are there for replaying the game? Imagine the precedent – suddenly every team that loses to a goal that shouldn’t have stood because of a handball or a foul could demand the same. Or to take it further, maybe a result is canned because a throw in was awarded the wrong way, leading to the winning goal. After all, the argument here is that Henry deliberately cheated – is appealing for a throw you know isn’t yours any different?

It is beyond ridiculous. Yes, it is a harsh way to go out, but it is hardly new. I remember South Korea knocking Italy out in 2002 thanks to a series of horrendous refereeing decisions. Australia lost to Italy in 2006 to a penalty that wasn’t. Did anyone demand a replay then? Of course not.

Get a fucking grip.

Disclaimer – please don’t think this is an anti-Irish rant. Strangely enough, most of the hysterical reactions have come from the English media and English fans. Most Irish I’ve seen mention the incident are understandably pissed off but at the same time accept that’s how football is sometimes. Check out an excellent post by Arseblogger (who is Irish) for evidence of rationality.

Italia 90 was my first World Cup, and I remember the old format – groups of four with one qualifier, groups of five with two, and since there was a lack of genuine minnows (no San Marinos back then), all the games were tough. France, Denmark and, ironically, Portugal failed to qualify despite having far better records against far tougher opposition than the Portuguese have managed this time around.

2. If the European system is bad, then the South American is a joke. Argentina lost six games and still qualified. How can a small nation possibly overachieve for eighteen games and qualify?

3. Argentina might have qualified, but under Maradona they are no threat for the World Cup itself. They look utterly disjointed, lacking in any tactical plan, and reliant on a couple of individuals to fire them through. Look at their team on Wednesday – some of it was excellent (Messi, Mascherano, Higuain), but the rest aren’t likely to scare anyone. Romero, Otamedi, and di Maria are all inexperienced, Veron will be 35 in March, and Guiterrez is hardly lighting up the Championship with Newcastle. And with Maradona in charge, there is always scope for crazy selections – Aguero wasn’t even on the bench.

4. David Beckham looks like an idiot. Seriously, what is with the caveman look?

5. Mind you, he can still play a bit, and will surely go to South Africa. But giving him the man of the match award for a half an hour appearance is a slap in the face for the rest of the players.

6. What has happened to Romania? Once a force in world football, they ended fifth in their group, sandwiched in between Lithuania and the Faroes, having been hammered 5-0 by Serbia at the weekend. Gheorghe Hagi must be despairing.

7. Croatia have fallen a long way since Euro 2008 too, where they were seconds away from the semi final. Ukraine’s inevitable victory over Andorra put them out, and to add insult to injury, neighbours Serbia won France’s group and even Bosnia have made the playoffs.

8. Egypt are doing their best to continue their woeful qualifying record – they haven’t played in the competition since 1990, despite winning the African Nations Cup three times since (twice, ironically, in the year of World Cups they failed to reach – 1998 and 2006). They must now beat Algeria, their undefeated group leaders, by three goals in the final match to qualify. A two goal victory would actually see both sides finish with identical records, and a 3-1 victory would cancel out the scoreline Algeria won their first meeting by, and would result in the drawing of lots.

9. The FIFA World Rankings are a joke. Looking at the top 25 to see who had surprisingly failed to qualify, you’ll find Croatia in ninth, which is a fair reflection of their recent success, the Czechs in 18th after a woeful campaign, Bulgaria in 19th, and then, in 22nd, Israel. Israel??? Fourth behind Switzerland, Greece and Latvia (who are, incidentally, way down in 47th, two places behind Gabon) in the current group, they also came fourth in qualifying for Euro 2008, and haven’t played in a major tournament since their one and only appearance in the World Cup in 1970. Why are they up in 22nd?

10. International fortnights stretch on painfully. Okay, we already knew that one.

At last, it is over, and from tomorrow, the real football returns. I’ll be previewing that later. Until then, enjoy your Friday.