The Beautiful Groan

So, in the most predictable move ever, the FA decided to hand out ridiculous fines to both Arsenal and Chelsea, 100k each, for the Carling Cup ‘brawl’, the sort of event which normally results in warnings or comparatively small fines, in the region of 5-10k.

Still, it was inevitable, with so much focus on the circumstances, the FA feel they have to follow the news coverage as much as McLaren does with his England team selections.

Speaking of McLaren, he has once again been saved by injury. He was surely going to recall Beckham before his injury, thus wrecking the one (albeit predictable) bold move he has made. Now, with everyone clamouring for Lampard to be dropped, Rooney has done the decent thing and fractured Frank’s wrist with a training ground shot. Although, given his shooting prowess of late, you can only assume Shrek wasn’t aiming that way.

But the feeling remains that with the FA’s Sky-pleasing work, and McLaren’s aimless decisions, apathy for this season isn’t going away anytime soon.

Away from England, the Adebayor saga continues, with the Togo captain thrown out of the national squad for the ‘heinous’ crime of being the players’ representative in asking for the money they’ve been promised, since none of them have been paid it by the Togolese FA. And for everyone who thinks they’re being greedy footballers, just remember that some of these players are barely scraping by in such a poor country.

You’ve got to love the state of the game at the moment don’t you?

It has been a frustrating season for Williams Gallas. Involved in a protracted transfer saga along with some greedy left back, he endured some crazy claims from the Chelsea management before spending most of the season in the physio room.

Unfortunately, rather than simply waiting for his chance to play and being the guiding experienced figure some of the youngsters need, his mouth has been working in overdrive. After months of bitching about Chelsea (all while claiming he’s ‘moved on’), he has turned on much to do with Arsenal. While some of his comments are fair, now is a time to be positive and look forward, rather than sit on the sidelines and criticise.

His latest targets are the medical staff at the Emirates:

“At first they told me it was a cramp, when in fact it was a strained muscle.

“Do I have something against the Arsenal medical staff? A little, yes, with the error in diagnosis.”

Now it is true that he has spent more time out than he probably expected, but the medical staff at Arsenal are consistently recognised around the country as top drawer. To publicly condemn them in this way is absolutely unnecessary, not to mention extremely unprofessional.

Not content with that, he turns on the youngsters:

“I knew the Arsenal team was young, but day after day I have come to understand they really miss experience.”

“We can’t always rely on Thierry and the youngsters have to understand it. Our young players have to do more.”

Hang on there. These are the same youngsters who have been the solitary bright spark of this season, the same youngsters Gallas attempted to persuade Wenger to allow him to play ahead of in the Carling Cup final, after a string of stunning performances had taken them that far. They haven’t sat back and ‘relied on Thierry’, they’ve looked stunning in their own right.

The main trouble has been injuries and a few of the more experienced players not putting in the performances. The kids have been a revelation, and given some of their ages, no more could have been expected of them once the injuries forced them into the first team on a more regular basis. My guess is even Gallas, no matter how good he thinks he is, made mistakes and wrong moves in his teenage years.

These sorts of comments are those that infuriate fans, undermine some of the players, and probably wind Wenger up at a time when the squad needs to pull together and move forward as a unit.

William, this is not how things are done at the Emirates. Be quiet.

Random England thoughts

Do you ever get the impression that no matter who was unavailable for England, the same players would play, just out of position? It happens so ridiculously often, it’s as it there’s a pool of 25 players available and they always have to be fitted in.

What does Lampard have to do to get dropped? Players play better when they have competition for places. What motivation is there if a player knows they will always get picked no matter how badly they play?

Why was Graham Taylor so surprised by England’s performance on Radio Five? It’s not like we haven’t seen this before.

Will Wayne Rooney ever be grabbed by the scruff of the neck and told not to react to things?

….where would they finish?

It’s international week again, and more often than not this appears to drop the quality of football on offer. Clearly the national team doesn’t get as much time together as a club does, but in a country where we still (mistakenly) believe we’re a top nation, is it reasonable to say, even putting aside the state of the managerial position, that England would not win the Premiership?

I would resoundingly say yes.

Let’s begin in a head to head match up with Arsenal, sitting third.

Lehmann v Robinson - No contest, Robinson is the definition of a dodgy keeper. 1-0 Arsenal

Hoyte v Neville - Neville takes it. 1-1.

Clichy v C*** - Money-grabber wins. 2-1 England.

Toure v Terry - In my opinion, the ability of the English players is overrated. Terry is slow, and even his leadership skills are matched by Kolo, 2-2.

Gallas v Ferdinand - Again, Gallas edges it, but it’s close. 3-2 Arsenal.

Gilberto v Hargreaves - The World Cup winner waltzes it. 4-2.

Fabregas v Gerrard - Two of the very best in the Premiership. Tie. Although for England Gerrard is stunted anyway by the idiotic tactics.

Rosicky v Downing - Please. 5-2.

Hleb v Lennon - The kid wins it. 5-3.

Henry v Rooney - Rooney is good. But he isn’t as good as the media have us believe. He might be one day. 6-3.

Van Persie v Crouch - Excuse me. 7-3.

Some may disagree with this, and that’s fine, I’m biased and it’s my opinion. Also, I’ve tried to match the formation up and that doesn’t really work. But I could do this for Man Utd, Chelsea and Liverpool too and England would lose every time.

You may have noticed I’ve dropped Lampard. If only McLaren had the guts to do the same.

So, a prediction of England finishing 5th in the Premiership? Would they even do that well?